Hanging by a Thread (part 2 of Our Arctic Adventure)

So the door to North Carolina slammed shut. Literally. One day we were in salary and relocation talks with the new company, the next day Dave was no longer a candidate for the position. To say the least, we were bummed. We truly thought this was our adventure. There was no good reason why this should not have worked.

Well except for this one good reason: Our marriage was hanging by a thread. Literally. And within two weeks of learning that we would not be moving to North Carolina, everything came crashing down. Not over one particular thing that either of us had done, but over lots of selfish behaviors and years of poor communication and stress on both of our parts. There was pain, there was anger, and there was hurt. Lots of it. And there was threats of leaving. Again from both of us. It was tough and very stressful. But you know what else there was, that I am certain would not have been in North Carolina?

Friends. Amazing friends that were committed to walking alongside us through this very dark time. Friends that had been with us since the beginning of us and friends that we had only known for a short time. Before calling it quits, we agreed that we would get counseling. Neither of us wanted it to be over. We both understood that we had said vows that meant that we were to be married to each other ’til death parted us’, but we were hurt and we needed help to get past the pain. We started meeting with our pastor and his wife, who happened to also be the ones who encouraged Dave and I to start dating over 16 years ago.

During that time that we were meeting with our pastor I also had a small group of amazing girlfriends that were holding me accountable to the changes that I needed to make in my heart. Within that group of friends was a gal that I had been acquainted with, but had not completely connected with. That did not stop this friend from seeing a need and jumping in to meet it. One evening she called me and asked of she and her husband could take Dave and I out on a double date. They wanted to take us to see the movie Fireproof.

That evening out was such a blessing to us. It came at a very critical time with a very critical message. Our marriage was worth fighting for. It was at that time that I realized that my God cared so deeply for me that he shut the door that we were going to step through and by doing so he was protecting my marriage. Because I am certain that had we gone to North Carolina all the hurt and pain would have still come to the surface but we would not have had the support we needed to get through it. We were still in Washington state because God knew that was exactly where we needed to be for the stormy season that we were in.

So there we were, still in Washington, committed to working to repair our marriage, and praying for a new job still.

Five months would pass before there was any movement on the job front and then all the sudden there was something.




Filed under Arctic Adventure

17 responses to “Hanging by a Thread (part 2 of Our Arctic Adventure)

  1. Lee Ann

    So thankful you had all those friends around you. They’re priceless!Now you left us hanging by a thread again……

  2. Elena

    Wow! Isn’t it amazing what the blogs DON’T tell us about each other? I had no idea. I’m so glad you were able to have those dear friends near and that you have been able to salvage your marriage. This is QUITE the story you are taking us on!!

  3. Meredith

    Thanks for the early morning tears! Love you!

  4. Gina

    Well, Elena, there are things that you don’t find out over the telephone or at your mom’s house that you only find out on your sister’s blog. But I knew when it all fell together so well that it was God’s doing.

  5. Gramma 2 Many

    Stop with the cliff hangers already!!! Remember what I told you Fireproof did to dad? What an amazing movie.

  6. Tamara

    Whoever those friends were, I know that must’ve been a huge act of obedience to call you up in that moment and take you on that date – I hope they are richly blessed for that. My husband’s Dr. wrote “Go see Fireproof ASAP” with the name of the theater where it was playing on a prescription – we were also hanging by a thread and seeing a marriage counselor – that movie has been a blessing to so many couples! Can’t wait to hear your story continue to unfold. Oh… and side note – at the same time we saw that movie we were instructed to read a book called “Sacred Marriage” by Gary Thomas – fabulous read and marriage changing…

  7. Ashley

    and that something… I’m guessing… was Alaska!It is funny how things happen for a reason, even though we may not know it at the time.I’m glad things have worked out for you family. Thank goodness for good friends!

  8. Tracy

    I’m enjoying your, um cliff-hanger story. LOL I found you site from Cathy’s? in Kotzebue. I’ve been researching AK for a few weeks now and keep running into all these blogs of peope who live up there. My husband and I are talking about making the move up there. We are originally from Washington state (where do you live anyway??) and stuck down here in TX. Let’s just say AK has alot more appeal to us than down here. LOLI haven’t seen Fireproof yet–we’ve had our own issues this past couple years and when it first came out, there’s not way I could have gotten through the movie. But things are MUCH better now and I’m enjoying the way things used to be and have still avoided the movie. LOL

  9. Homestay Mama

    Ahh, Trish. I am enjoying your story very much. I had known you were going through a tough time in your marriage, so I became even more concerned when I learned you were moving to AK. So I’m really glad and relieved to read your post today! Praise God! Now I’m excited to hear the next chapter!

  10. Dee

    Wow! Isn’t it wonderful to know that God will use his people and his people may not even know that they are being used. I have tears in my eyes.

  11. Debbie

    Oh Trish…I just love and adore you. You are an amazing person with a great witness of God’s faithfulness to those who are obedient to HIM!! I can’t wait to hear more about the Happily Ever After! And I am waiting to hear more about the message you left on my Facebook wall…4-6 months???? Then where!??? This truly is an adventure. I can’t wait to hear more….NOW!

  12. Mara

    Enjoying reading this!!! Not enjoying not seeing you all the time….

  13. Lula!

    Trish, thanks for being so open and candid about your Alaskan adventure. And your marriage journey. And God’s faithfulness. And everything in between…

  14. Lee Ann

    waiting….waiting…..looking for the next part!….and wanting pictures of where you are! I need to be able to envision you there!

  15. Shannon D

    I’m so glad that God was able to get a hold of your heart! Friends who speak truth are so important in a time like that. God is good! He cares about EVERY little thing in our lives and he works out the details.I LOVE hearing stories of restoration!

  16. michelle allen

    what an amazing story so far Trish. can’t wait for part 3! love your facebook pics of your family all bundled up. 🙂

  17. Karin @ 6ByHisDesign

    tears welling up as I read of your adventures. God wove quite a tale in my own life culminating in completing the love dare, so I’m looking forward to reading these additional posts…kJ

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