Gina tagged me to do this post. Go read her list, and then laugh because she has five kids and it’s only just begun. So here is my list of things my children would never do:
- stash candy under their pillow “just in case I get hungry in the middle of the night”
- turn up their noses at any resemblance of a vegetable
- suck Sprite up their nose, through a straw, in order to know what it was like to drink like an elephant
- have “bees” (applebees) or “Donalds” (mcdonalds) in their first ten words spoken
- wrap an entire roll of dental floss (36 ft) around every fixture in the bathroom thus creating a “boobytrap” for their mother to encounter at a time when she had to pee so bad she could barely hold it. (I tried to take a picture but the translucent floss did not show up in the picture and so all there was to see was the dirty bathroom)
- squeeze out and smear an entire tube of toothpaste on the bathroom mirror.
- dump their entire brand new bottle of shampoo in their bath with the water running (I guess I should supervise my kids a little better when they are in the bathroom)
- tell me, their father, their siblings or any one else for that matter that they “hate” them
- repeat or mimic (in public) any unsavvory comments muttered by their parents out of frustration
So there you go, there are some of the things that I truly believe my children will NEVER do (again).
Any other mothers care to go there?